What is Attachment Theory?

What is Attachment Theory?

The attachment theory argues that a strong emotional and physical bond to one primary caregiver in our first years of life, is critical to our development. If our bonding is strong and we are securely attached, then we feel safe to explore the world. We know there is always that safe base, to which we can return to anytime. If our bond is weak, we feel insecurely attached. We are afraid to leave or explore a rather scary-looking world. Because we are not sure if we can return.

People who are securely attached are said to have greater trust, can connect to others and as a result are more successful in life. Insecurely attached people tend to mistrust others, lack social skills and have problems forming relationships. There is one type of secure attachment and there are 3 types of insecure attachments: Anxious/Ambivalent ,  Anxious/Avoidant and Anxious/Disorganized. In responses to distress, the first 3 react organized, while the last acts disorganized.

Case study

To understand the theory better, let’s look at Mr and Ms Smith, who have 4 children. Luka, Ann , Joe and Amy. The Smiths are lovely parents, who cuddle, make frequent eye contact, speak warm, and are always there for their kids. But one day Mr Smith falls very sick and dies. For Mrs Smith life now becomes very difficult. She spend all day working,  while at the same time trying to care for her children. And impossible task.

At 6 years of age, Luka’s brain is for the most part developed, his character strong and his world view shaped. The new situation does not affect him much – he knows there still is always mom – his safe-haven. He feels securely attached. Later he turns into a trusting and optimistic young man. His self image is positive.

Ann, who is 3, has problems coping with the new lack of attention. To Ann, her mother now acts unpredictable. She is anxious about their relationship, and as a result becomes clingy. To get her mom’s attention, she has to raise her emotional state and scream. When her mom finally reacts with a predictable response, she herself acts ambivalent and doesn’t show her true feelings. Later in life, others think Ann is unpredictable or moody. Her self image is less positive. Her attachment style Anxious Ambivalent.

2-year old Joe, spends his days with his uncle, who loves him, but thinks that a good education means being strict. If little Joe shows too much emotions or is too loud, his Uncle gets angry and sometimes punitive. This scares Joe. He learns that to avoid fear, he has to avoid showing his feelings – also in other situations. As an adult he continues this strategy and has problems to enter relationships. His image of himself is rather negative. His attachment is: Anxious Avoidant

Amy, who is just one year old, gets sent to a nursery. The staff there is poorly trained, overworked and often very stressed. Some are outright abusive. Amy therefore becomes anxious of the very people she seeks security from – a conflict which totally disorganizes her ideas about love and safety. As she is experiencing fear without resolution, she tries to avoid all social situations. As an adult she thinks of herself as unworthy of love. Her self image is very negative . He attachment is anxious disorganised.

I have created another blog to help treat attachment issues. Any questions please do not hesitate to ask.

 

By

Dr Farah Nadeem

Psychologist

Add Your Comment